thekissoflife | Inbox for empatheias

Inbox for empatheias

((Note that Fuuka doesn't yet have a bird to take written messages, so any threads here will initially be a private telepathic conversation between Fuuka and your character.))

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Oi, Yamagishi. You there?

[The amulets weren't quite like Fuuka's telepathy, sure, but it was similar enough that he didn't feel half as weird about using them as some others likely did. The only thing that he didn't like was the added mixture of emotions that sometimes fell through. So she might be able to catch the subtle undertones of discomfort and awkwardness that clung to his otherwise normal and to-the-point tone.]

If you're still awake, come meet me at the cafe'.

[With that said and done, he'll cut off the connection. Not really trusting himself to contain any stray emotions completely, and not really wanting Fuuka to get all worked up over nothing either. Part of him wasn't even sure if this was worth doing to begin with, considering learning about what happened after... everything with Ken wasn't going to change anything.

But there was something about the way Fuuka acted that first day that hadn't quite sit well with him. Dragons or not, he could tell there was more to her initial outburst than she was letting on, and that worried him.]

[There's something that's a little startling about hearing the voice of a person who's supposed to be dead. Even though she saw him again, even though she's been interacting with him for the past few days, there's still a disconnect in her head, so there's a few moments pause before she answers.]

I'm here. Is something the matter?

[It's definitely later in the evening, so there's no mistaking the curiosity that comes over from Fuuka. Wouldn't earlier in the day have been more comfortable? Not that she minds, just... she can't help but wonder.

And then her senpai is telling her to come downstairs, which causes her to blink a bit more, before she hesitantly replies.]

Um— sure, okay.

[And obediently, she immediately makes her way out of her room and down, where she sees Shinjiro seated. The two of them hadn't spent too much time together aside from impromptu cooking lessons before his passing, so it felt a little weird now. She never got the sense that Shinjiro specifically disliked her— well, okay, maybe she thought he found her total ineptness at anything food-preparation related frustrating... but still. Shinjiro was a kind of guy who preferred to keep to himself, for the most part. And she didn't mind that, but she had honestly expected that they wouldn't be much closer even if they were the only two of the SEES team here.

Perhaps he just had more questions about Verens? He looks serious, as he always does, but she had caught the discomfort in his tone earlier, and she can't help but fret. Had she done something to upset or disconcert him already...? She lingers hesitantly for a moment before walking over and taking a seat.]

Good evening, Aragaki-senpai.

[Ah... he got her tea? That eases her up a bit, and she slowly moves to take the cup.]

Thank you for the drink. [That little bit of comfort makes her more open in displaying her nervousness, and she chews the bottom of her lip in trepidation.] Is something wrong?

[Her voice catches him off guard as well, but for a completely different reason. Honestly he half expected her to disregard the request completely, after all he wasn't Aki - or Mitsuru, for that matter, so he was more or less prepared to spend the rest of his night quietly staring down into his cup.

Something that he continues to do, the moment he hears her footsteps. Both his hands were clasped around the porcelain mug currently resting on the table, almost like he was trying to find something to steady himself while the temperature around him fluctuated between normal and chilly at the drop of a hat.

Her words, however, draw him out of his thoughts long enough for him to glance up. Keeping that silence from his side far longer than he probably should of, before he's finally leaning back and away from the table with a sigh.]

Alright, enough of this. What's really going on with you? You've been acting weird since I got here, and I want to know why.

[There's no tip-toeing around it. That never was his style anyway, and as much as he hated himself for not knowing the best way to approach this topic, he knew there wasn't going to be any easier way of getting her to explain without confronting her directly. He was still her senpai, after all, and there wasn't any other members of SEES who could do this but him at the moment. ~~As much as he wished that there was.~~]

[The silence is pretty stifling, and Fuuka can't help but fret as it drags on, that little comfort she gained slipping away as she hunches in on herself a bit instinctively. She isn't afraid of Shinjiro, not really, but it's hard to know what he's feeling towards her in this moment since he tends not to be very expressive. But the silence doesn't feel good, and so Fuuka is convinced he must be upset with her.

So what he says completely throws her off, and she blinks a little belatedly as she looks up at him.]

I— I have?

[And then she looks back down at the cup as she absorbs the fact that no, her senpai isn't upset at her for something she's done and he's asking instead about what she's been... acting weird. She quietly recalls just how she'd been acting over the past few days, and her brow draws together.]

Oh, I... suppose I have. I'm sorry.

[...right, an apology probably isn't what Shinjiro wanted, he probably wanted an explanation, but the apology comes instinctively.]

I suppose, it's just... seeing you, after...

[Her hands tighten on her cup. It's hard to say the words, how to express how she feels.]

I'm happy to see you, Aragaki-senpai. Truly. I just... I wish it didn't have to be like this.

[She wishes that she had found him in time, that they could have gotten there before the shots were fired and Shinjiro bled out on the concrete. Sooner. Why couldn't she have done it sooner?

If she had, she wouldn't have cried when she saw him. She wouldn't feel like she'd be talking to a ghost. She would have been relieved to finally have a member from home back, maybe only a bit guilty that he was taken from home. But he would still be there.

He would still be alive.

The air around her drops sharply in temperature, and little bits of frost begin to form around the cup where her hands were clasped against it.]

Edited 2017-03-16 03:23 (UTC)

[An explanation would have been preferred, yes, as he doesn't look exactly thrilled when hearing the apology. Something he was about to comment on, with the way he shifted forwards as a growl of frustration rose in his throat - but stops himself when hearing the following comment.

... It was only fair, he supposed. Even if it'd only been a few days since then, for her it had been far longer and not many people would exactly take seeing someone back from the dead in stride.

She was doing a lot better at handling all of this than he was, in some cases, but he was not so oblivious to the fact that she was still holding something back that he was just about to drop it either. Knowing that was irritating, but what was more irritating was that it reminded him too much of himself - and that was not something he was going to let stand.

Fuuka deserved far better, and if it was something that involved him, he wasn't going to just sit there and watch her get emotional over such a stupid thing like that. His problems were his own, after all, and he could handle them alone just fine.]

That so? 'Cause it sure as hell doesn't seem like it. [The drop in temperature is noted, but there's no comment towards the ice itself - aside from him trying to counterbalance it.

Doesn't work, as the room just gets the slightest bit colder from his own emotions, but he tried.] Seems to me like I've only been causing you more trouble just by being here.

[His words cause her to wince a bit, even though they were well justified. Shinjiro certainly deserved the truth. She felt like she owed it to him, since she couldn't save his life. Couldn't do the one thing she was meant to do, at the most important time...]

N-no, that's not it. It's not you.

[She takes a deep breath, trying to steady herself, and finally takes a sip of tea. It doesn't really calm her as well as she would have liked, especially since she can already feel that deep regret and guilt slowly bubbling it's way to the surface, making her throat tighten and eyes sting. She can't even lift her gaze to look back at Shinjiro.]

I just, I... [An unstable breath escapes her, before she finally admits, voice thick with emotion:] I should have found you sooner.

["Before it was too late", are the unspoken words. She's not crying, but she can feel tears, angry tears, tears full of regret and shame, trying their damndest to fall, but she won't let them. Her hands tremble on her cup, and she closes her eyes tightly, whispering painfully.]

I'm sorry, senpai. I failed you.

[Shinji sits there, waiting for her to explain. The fact he was even able to get her this far into the conversation must have meant it was something that had been weighing on her mind for a very long time, whatever it was. The only problem he still couldn't figure out, was what it had to do with him.

He assumed it had something to do with his death, or just the way he died in general, but part of him was slightly surprised that it was such a big deal to begin with. It's not like he was really around much for anyone to give a shit about him - and even then he'd purposely did what he could to make sure he kept as far away as possible so that he didn't end up hurting any of them in the end.

Sure, they were stubborn sometimes, and occasionally dragged him into things he'd usually avoid getting apart of, but most of the time they got the hint and let him be.

Aki being the only exception... but he couldn't really do anything to stop him. As much as he tried to push him away, in the end it was like trying to move a brick wall.

... So why? Why was Fuuka the one being so remorseful?

'I should have found you sooner.'

The cup in his hand cracks, tiny tendrils of spider-like designs spiral out in different directions, as Shinji's eyes widened in a mixture of shock and disbelief. He'd been so caught off guard he hadn't noticed there was tea already spilling out over his hands and onto the table. The first couple of seconds just have him silently staring at her, just long enough for to her finish whatever it was she wanted to say...]

Edited (because rp is hard) 2017-03-16 08:26 (UTC)

[Before that cold air morphs into a dark cloud of electricity, looming behind him like a foreboding shadow. There's no bolts of lightening, or anything dangerous beyond that, but his change in mood is an obvious one the second her apology registers.]

The fuck are you going on about? Why the hell are you apologizing for something like that, you moron!

[His tone is harsh, as both of his hands slam down onto the table in order to give him the leverage he needed to stand, with absolutely no regard to the cup that gets sent flying to the floor below. The sounds of it shattering doing very little to distract him, and though he's furious, it's something that's more vocal than physical.

As scary and as intimidating as he looked - as dangerous as he may have looked right now - he was more upset over the fact that she had spent so long blaming herself over something that she had no control over to begin with, that Shinji couldn't stop himself from being angry.

Not at her, definitely not at her, but at the idea that she'd be blaming herself this whole goddamn time because of his stupid way of handling things.]

You didn't fail anyone! Hell, that shit had nothing to do with you guys in the first place. Why do you think I went off on my own? You think I wanted to drag you guys into that mess, huh? That I wanted you all --

[He stopped, the cloud behind him slowly tapering off into a dull grey, as a small scattering of snowflakes began to fall. Every part of him shut down, and he suddenly looked far more exhausted than he did two seconds ago, as he took a step away from the table and turned his back towards her.]

... Sorry. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

[Fuuka doesn't look up at the sound of the tea cup cracking, as she's honestly just trying to keep herself from sobbing, at this point. She feels enormously responsible for Shinjiro's death, and even if Shinjiro might not be the kind of person to blame her for it... The facts stand in her mind. She can detect people for literally miles around. Shinjiro and Ken had been missing, and she was the only one who could find them. Even Mitsuru would have had significant trouble.

And then she did. But she did it far too late.

She takes a cautious breath to steady herself, then hears her senpai's angry words and blinks, slightly glazed eyes lifting from her cup to look at him. The slam does startle her into sitting up straight, but her alarmed and confused gaze doesn't break away from Shinjiro, even as his mug shatters on the ground.]

Senpai...?

[She doesn't understand. Of course she would apologize. Of course she would feel guilty. Literally, she had been the only one with the power to save him. She isn't frightened, really, by his obvious fury, just honestly confused because her guilt, her shame felt perfectly reasonable.

She watches him as he continues to rant until he just runs out of energy... And goes over the words in her head.

Why do you think off on my own? You think I wanted to drag you guys into that mess, huh?

Those words hit her and her eyes widen in horrified realization, hands coming up to cover her mouth, and the tea in her cup spontaneously freezes.

It was clear to anyone with a functioning brain that Shinjiro wasn't the happiest of people around, and that on some level he probably wasn't very fond of himself, but—

Had she heard right? Had he... had a death wish?

Had that essentially been an assisted suicide?]

Aragaki-senpai... [She breathes his name out in disbelief, in pure shock. Her eyes search his back, and she tries to grasp onto something. Maybe she's got this whole thing totally wrong.] Are you saying—

[But she can't say it, can't make the words pass her lips. They're too shocking, they're too raw and terrible. She finally forces out a:]

Why?

[He shouldn't have said anything. He shouldn't, but he did, and now he'd only made things worse because he couldn't keep his goddamn mouth shut. The hell was he thinking, anyway? Trying to help someone with their own problems when he could barely handle his own - but this was Fuuka. If he hadn't, she would have been beating herself up over his death every single time she saw him, without any good reason for it - and the thought alone caused the air around him to drop in temperature significantly.

Frost was already starting to coast across the back of his coat, and he could see crystals forming from his breath the longer he stood there in silence. Fighting with the idea of just walking away now, or staying to hear her reaction because at the very least he deserved whatever came next, as his eyes traveled to where he knew the exit to the Spa was.

God, what he wouldn't give for someone else to do this. He'd even take Iori if that meant he could detach himself from this whole situation and pretend it never happened.

... But when she did finally speak, his shoulders stiffened. Partly from surprise, because he wasn't even expecting a reply at all, but also because there was a new wave of frustration that came along with her question.

Why?

What did she mean why?]

What, don't you remember? You were there, weren't you? Or did no one tell you anything?

N-no... they told me. But...

[What does she say, here? It was an accident, and Shinjiro didn't deserve to die just because he unwittingly took someone's life? And yet she feels that if she says that it will fall on deaf ears, or worse, anger her senpai. Fuuka would feel awful as well. She'd be mortified if she accidentally took anyone's life, let alone the mother of a young child.

But still... she gets up from the table and comes around, looking at Shinjiro earnestly.]

Aragaki-senpai, I don't know you very well, but you've never seemed like a bad person to me. Even if you did do that... you were still kind towards all of us. Perhaps you had a little trouble showing it, but... I never faulted you for that, at the very least.

There's another person here as well, who made a grave mistake which ended in the loss of someone dear to them, and something much worse as well. But they've also been nothing but kind to me. So, even knowing what I do about them... I could never personally wish them unwell.

And that goes for you as well, Senpai. Even if your mistake cost another person their life, I still regret not being able to find you in time. I don't believe your death was deserved. I don't.

I'm sure the others would agree with me as well. Even Ken-kun.

[He figured as much, given how long ago it was since he died from her point of view. Aki or Mitsuru must have opened their mouths about it after everything went down - but the fact that she didn't treat him any differently from the usual was something he found strange.

Well, that was only partly true. After all, it was one of the reasons he felt this whole thing was necessary to begin with, because if Fuuka hadn't broken down into tears right in front of him that first day - he likely wouldn't of cared about striking up a conversation like this at all.

Still wish he hadn't, but there was nothing he could do to change that now.

At the sudden sounds of movement in his direction, Shinji turned, glancing over his shoulder and past the collar of his coat. Just enough where he'd be able to hide his expression and yet still see her. Or that had been the idea, until his eyes moved to trail along after her and noticed she wasn't running away, but moving to stand in front of him. An action that caused him to instinctively put more distance between the two, as he wasn't really sure what to expect when faced with something like this.

Aki would hit him, or at the very least get angry and yell about how stupid he was being and that he shouldn't say stuff like that. Something that was easy to deal with, because all he had to do was yell back and tell him to shut up - but Fuuka?

... Fuuka wasn't the type to get violent, or angry the same way him and Akihiko did. She was too kind, and he knew that if he treated her that way, the results would be a lot more different. Even now, having already lashed out at her made him feel the slightest bit guilty - but not enough to where he regretted doing it.

So when she starts off with 'not a bad person', his face darkens into quiet anger, but as she continues it... slowly reverts into something more neutral. The snow around him seems to thicken, and the chill continues to linger but it's less threatening and more to the usual underlying sadness that tends to accompany it.

Because if there was one thing he could not fault Fuuka for, it was being honest about how she felt.]

... You're right. You don't know a goddamn thing about me, and you obviously don't know a thing about Ken.

[Surprisingly, his tone was relatively calm. Only the slightest bit of annoyance seeping in, as he tilted his head back to get a clearer view of her from beneath his hat. But the words were just as quickly followed with a sigh, letting his hands drop down to his sides.]

But that's not the point. Acting like this is your problem to fix... tch. I came down here to lecture you, moron, not the other way around. [His eyes traveled back to hers, narrowing. Not with rage, but of complete seriousness.] I understand what you're trying to do, but save it. Doesn't matter anymore, but if I hear you blaming yourself again I'm not going to hold myself back next time.

You're gonna get a goddamn earful from me, whether you like it or not.

[It doesn't mean he was going to stop blaming himself, that wasn't something he would never be able to do for however long this place allowed him to stay here, but if he could find a way to give Fuuka less reasons to worry about him, than he was going to do what he could to make sure of that.]

Edited 2017-03-17 04:24 (UTC)

[She doesn't know Shinjiro well at all, that's true. Only from the little bit she'd interacted with him, the bits here and there she heard from Akihiko and Mitsuru. Ken, though— she knew better than Shinjiro thought. She might even know him better than Shinjiro. Ken wasn't rejuvenated by Shinjiro's death, he was devastated. He had so much anger built up within him, so much confusion and pain and no outlet for it. Shinjiro had been his outlet, and then he was gone, and while she never heard it in words, it had been clear to her, at least, that Shinjiro's death was ultimately not what he had wanted.

She doesn't shy away from his words, blunt and cold as they are. Doesn't shy away even from the chilling cold around him. She watches him, listens to his words, which are abrasive, but the intent behind them is gentle. He doesn't want her to worry. Not over him, not over his death.

All the more reason she feels like he shouldn't have had to die, really. He says she doesn't know him, but he continues to be kind to her, even if her actions aggravate him. It's like he wants to get mad at her, really, but can't because he realizes this is just the kind of person she is.]

Sorry, I suppose it did come off as a bit of a lecture.

[It doesn't matter anymore... She did suppose what was done was done. Even if it still filled her with sadness, even if she felt largely responsible... Somehow, Shinjiro's reprimanding makes her feel a little better. She didn't think he would be the kind to put blame on her in the first place, but it was nice to hear, all the same. And somehow, with him being here... she felt a little stronger than she did before.

So she nods.]

Okay. I'll try my best not to let it get to me as much.

[Shinjiro really had just been checking up on her, hadn't he? Because she'd cried the first day... Even if he was a very rough around the edges sort of person, he truly cared. And that fills Fuuka with warmth, warming the air around her, as well.]

Thank you, senpai.

[Ken would honestly always be a complicated subject for him - the last thing he remembered, after all, was hearing how much the other hated him for what he did (something he'd never fault him for). Fuuka was lucky enough to get the privilege to see that other side of a young boy who regretted his actions - but Shinjiro was put into a position where that was something he'd likely never get to hear from the kid himself. It was partly why he'd almost considered telling her off when the boy's name had been brought into the conversation - but again, that wouldn't have solved anything. Knowing she hadn't been there to hear any part of that exchange, would have only ended with him getting more irritated and angry because as much as he hated to admit it - all those emotions he'd been keeping at bay about that particular situation were still fresh and he wouldn't have been able to keep a cool head no matter how hard he tried.

Yet he also understood that she was just trying to find a way to make him understand something that he adamantly refused to believe himself. Shinji didn't necessarily want to die, at least not as much as Fuuka was likely thinking, but with the way things had turned out, he was just glad that Ken wasn't the one who ended up taking his life in the end.

If anything, being able to give up his life protecting him, was something that he wouldn't take back no matter what Fuuka said.]

Good. [He paused, then, partly because the thank you felt unnecessary, but also for the simple fact that he felt relieved that he was able to do something. If he'd been able to put her mind at ease - even if it was a little, then this whole stupid conversation had been well worth the trouble. So he defaults to the usual sigh, the frost already melting around him as one hand moved to ruffle the top of her head.]

Now get to bed. I'll stick around to clean up this mess - and before you start to protest, no. I don't want your help.

[Fuuka gives a little nod at his "good". Even if Shinjiro's arrival had contributed to her stress, she'd already had plenty of it before he arrived from various occurences... and now she felt much more relaxed than she had in a long, long while.

When he ruffles her hair she just pauses for a moment because what is happening!! She looks at Shinjiro, surprised and thrown off guard by the affectionate gesture. Belatedly, her hand raises up to her head, and she can't help but blush a bit.]

Ah— a-are you sure? I wouldn't mind helping. I'm not all that tired, really.

[It's less that Fuuka feels beholden to help and more that she would like to spend time with her senpai and get to know him better. This late at night might be a weird time to do it, but it was also the ideal time, because they were the only two around.

She won't have the chance to spend time with Shinjiro, to learn about him or share experiences with him when she returns home. She wants to capitalize on this while she still can.]

[He opens his mouth to say something, his brows furrowing in obvious annoyance but he's just too tired to really argue at this point. Not that Shinji hadn't expected this, if anything he would have been surprised if she had gone to bed without saying a word, but it was his way of making sure she didn't want to spend any more time with him than she would have liked.]

I'm sure. [One hand moves to rest against the back of his head, the frost all but gone at this point, even as the cloud of snow still lingers. Softer falling now, and not as large in size - yet enough to show there was still some left over feelings that he couldn't quite shake off yet. He does eventually straighten, however, before he's turning to face away from her again and move back towards the table.] ... But if you want to go grab a broom for me, I won't stop ya.

Haven't been able to figure out where they keep that stuff yet.

[Her shoulders droop a little at his answer, but she supposes that's okay. Shinjiro wasn't a particularly social person, after all. But at his words she brightens a little, and gives a nod.]

The closet's over this way.

[She walks over to it and opens the door, grabbing the broom and turning to hand it to her senpai.]

We'll probably need a mop as well, once we've gotten most of the pieces picked up.

[What— Fuuka, he said bring him a broom, not clean with him!!! But apparently this is what she is doing now. Give this girl an inch and she'll go a mile...]

[Shinji stops in his movements only long enough to turn when she mentions the closet, watching her cross the room so he could store that information away for later. Part of him had a feeling this wasn't going to be the last time he'd do something like this, (~~sorry Eikichi~~), and wanted to be sure he'd be able to clean up after any emotional backlashes.

He will, however, move to take the broom once Fuuka brought it over, nodding lightly.]

Thanks. [Then he sighs.] Thought I told you I could handle it? What's with you, huh? Don't you ever take a break?

[Fuuka retreats as soon as he takes the broom, getting out the mop and bucket as well. She moves to fill the bucket under a faucet inside the closet. Not too much... that should be enough.]

Oh, it's no trouble, really. Like I said, I'm not really tired.

[She comes back out, mop in one hand and bucket in the other, looking pretty bushy-tailed despite the late hour. Maybe she just felt re-energized after her talk with Shinjiro...

Speaking of this man, he has been perpetually snowing since he got here... Poor guy. It reminds Fuuka of when she came here, so distraught by their leader's passing that she couldnt' stop herself from freezing, rotting and wilting everything in sight.

And that reminds her...]

I should probably catch you up on everything that's happened...

[And then she pauses, and shakes her head, looking at Shinjiro.] Well, a lot happened since you left us. Maybe it'd be better to talk about it tomorrow, or else we could end up staying up quite late.

...but I'll tell you, if you don't want to wait.

[He'd already started to sweep up some of the shattered remains of the cup - and just under the table in general, because who the hell left all those crumbs under there goddamnit - when Fuuka's words have him peering over his shoulder.

Not that the action was something he did for very long, as a few seconds later he turned back around to push everything into a neat pile on the floor. Her comment only getting a murmur of something that could have been annoyed acceptance. Stubborn as he was, Fuuka's desire to help would be hard to dissuade without a perfectly good reason, and as of right now he no longer had any.

But he was secretly glad for the company, if the sparkling snowflakes were any indication. At least until the topic of home gets brought up again, causing them to dim back down to how they were before.]

Hm? [Shinjiro peers down at her, temporarily leaning on the broom as he did so. To say he wasn't curious would have been a lie - as he was hoping their initial conversation would have led in that direction before things got a bit heated. After all, he couldn't help but want to make sure that everyone from SEES was still okay - and with Fuuka having such an apparent lead in terms of time and having the details, made it harder for him to resist turning her down.

Part of him knew it didn't matter, because there was nothing he'd be able to do or change when knowing his fate, but they were still kind of like his family in some weird way. Something he'd never say to anyone, but it wasn't hard to see that he genuinely cared about them all. So it's after that long silence of him mulling it over, that he gives the smallest nod to Fuuka.]

... May as well do it now and get it over with. Doubt we'll get many chances to talk like this without someone else around, you know?

[The snowflakes are... sparkling?? Oh no, that's... actually kind of cute... but Fuuka is glad that her senpai apparently enjoys her company enough for his emotions to manifest like this.

She nods, absent-mindedly dipping the mop in the bucket before cleaning up the spill, now that all the shards were out of the way. It takes her a few moments to gather her thoughts. Precisely what had happened once Shinjiro had passed? So much... she recalls the battle with those two Shadows, the search for Shinjiro and Ken... She closes her eyes, takes a breath, and then begins recounting everything.

By the time she has finished with what she said, the cleaning supplies were back in the closet and Shinjiro and Fuuka were seated at the table once more, Fuuka looking solemnly into her cup.]

...but none of us remembered, to defeat Nyx... [She bites her lip, closing her eyes shut.] To defeat Nyx, it took all of your life. But he... he stayed alive, for us. He stayed alive, right up until graduation day. We all remembered, and we ran to greet him...

[Fuuka had been helped with her grief regarding this issue, but it still makes her eyes sting to recount it in such detail. She supposed it always would.]

But as we got to the dorm, I could barely feel his presence. And when we got up there, h-he was with Aigis, and...

[She draws a deep breath, bowing her head and shaking it soundlessly. Everyone had been so excited, so happy to remember and ready to celebrate, and then...]

[It... it was a lot to process.

He'd been listening quietly, letting her explain as much as she could about the events that followed as he went about cleaning. The hanged man's shadow was something he expected, at least. That had been SEES entire point for existing, so there was a nod when the topic was brought up - and a small sense of pride at their accomplishments, but he couldn't stop that crackle of electricity across his shoulders when hearing about Strega's involvements.

He knew of Chidori, and Junpei's attraction for her - as ridiculous as it was at the time. Having dealings with Strega himself for those few years made it where he didn't have much of an interest in wanting to get to know any of them on a personal level, because he knew no good would come out of it.

... But, out of the three, she was the one he found the least grating on his nerves. Always quiet, and never speaking unless spoken to - the fact that Iori was able to break through that barrier with that idiotic way he did things, only caused a tiny, sad smile from underneath his coat when hearing the results.

Only for it to break the very second Ikutsuki's betrayal was brought up, turning in her direction with such a look of shock and anger, that caused the tiny cloud of snow to escalate back into that darker, electrical storm of smoldering rage as she continued.

He wanted to ask further questions - wanted to understand why, but it hit him to the point of speechlessness. Hearing that their efforts to stop the Dark Hour had only been some dumb ploy to... what? Recreate the world in his image?]

What a fucking dumbass! [The comment is seething, and hearing about Mitsuru's dad only made the cloud behind him flair with more bolts of lightning, practically shoving the broom in the closet with a growl. After Fuuka had put her supplies away first, mind, since he wouldn't have made a point to slam the door if she was anywhere near him - but it was the only way he could get rid of the frustration.

Mitsuru losing her father hit him especially hard. Even if he wasn't as close to her as he was with Akihiko, he knew vaguely just how much she respected her father - and her losing him to Ikutsuki of all people - after she'd done so much to try and stop Tartarus and the Dark Hour.

Stop it. It doesn't matter.

Shinji bit down, clenching his teeth long enough to calm himself. No matter how angry or fed up or irritated he was about this whole situation, what's done is done. He was long gone, and just as useless as he'd always been.

But it still hurt, because he hadn't expected any of this to be the results of all their efforts. He expected the shadows and dark hour to be done and over with. That things would be fine, and they'd live on normally without having to worry about it anymore - not whatever the fuck all this was.]

[Eventually, though, when Fuuka moved to sit down, Shinji flopped down across from her. His face darkening considerably as she continued, and that lightning behind him died down to a small rumbling.

He was only partly paying attention, in terms of Ryoji - something about Nyx. Parts of him in leader, a choice between living with memories or killing Ryoji to have an easy death. More Persona bullshit that he couldn't quite understand because, as much as Fuuka did her best to explain, there was still a lot of questions.

Questions he didn't truthfully want answers to, because he knew it wasn't worth asking. But he could tell, as much as he was personally finding it difficult and hard to understand - Fuuka was the one that had to live through it all.

Something that settled in his mind, making his expression shift into one of solemn acceptance, as he finally let his eyes drift from where'd they been fixated on the table. Frowning, when Fuuka finally revealed what their leader had to do - and what he had to give up, in exchange for the rest of them to continue living peacefully.

It was fitting, in a way. The type of person he was, and though there was an obvious flicker of saddness at the news, Shinji couldn't help but feel a wave of respect that finally caused the cloud to mellow into quiet snowfall again.]

I'm sorry, Yamagishi. I didn't realize how much - I wish I had asked sooner, but after what happened I couldn't - [He stops, when noticing he was just kind of speaking in broken thoughts, and just gives a sigh. His hand already moving to rest against his forehead while he tried to process any of that.]

... Tch. What a fucking mess.

[When the explanation finally comes to an end, Fuuka lets it hang for awhile, closing her eyes as she remembers their leader. Finally, she opens them, and lifts her head.]

...but it's all gone now. The Dark Hour, the Shadows, Nyx... Everything's back to normal.

...well, we still seem to have our Personas. But now that everything's as it should be, there's no reason for us to use them anymore. Not back at home, at least.

[It was a hard fought victory, with devastating losses along the way. But they still won, and Fuuka thinks that's important to remember. All the people who'd lost their lives along the way died protecting someone. Their losses were not in vain.

She smiles a little though as an afterthought, and shakes her head.]

Anyway, don't worry about it. Arriving on Empatheias is very jarring. It was for me... I imagine it must be even moreso for you. [Shinjiro had known he was going to die, had accepted it and awaited it. And then he was abruptly alive.] So... any sooner would have been too much, I think. [With such a thing as everything that had happened after his death, combined with suddenly being alive and in a completely new world, how would have Shinjiro possibly been able to focus on either? Now things had settled, and at least begun feeling normal.]

...I was taken from a few weeks after that. When I came to Empatheias, his death... was still very fresh and raw. And my emotions ran rampant... [She's not sure what line of thought caused her to continue on like this, about her personally, but now that she's started she's commited.] I couldn't control the way they manifested in the world. Someone with an unusual power was able to help me, though.

[Now she really doesn't know where she was going with that and falls silent, cheeks tinged pink a bit in embarrassment for telling Shinjiro such aimless things.]

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