Inbox for empatheias

[thekissoflife]

 ((Note that Fuuka doesn't yet have a bird to take written messages, so any threads here will initially be a private telepathic conversation between Fuuka and your character.))

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[thekissoflife]

N-no... they told me. But...

[What does she say, here? It was an accident, and Shinjiro didn't deserve to die just because he unwittingly took someone's life? And yet she feels that if she says that it will fall on deaf ears, or worse, anger her senpai. Fuuka would feel awful as well. She'd be mortified if she accidentally took anyone's life, let alone the mother of a young child.

But still... she gets up from the table and comes around, looking at Shinjiro earnestly.]

Aragaki-senpai, I don't know you very well, but you've never seemed like a bad person to me. Even if you did do that... you were still kind towards all of us. Perhaps you had a little trouble showing it, but... I never faulted you for that, at the very least.

There's another person here as well, who made a grave mistake which ended in the loss of someone dear to them, and something much worse as well. But they've also been nothing but kind to me. So, even knowing what I do about them... I could never personally wish them unwell.

And that goes for you as well, Senpai. Even if your mistake cost another person their life, I still regret not being able to find you in time. I don't believe your death was deserved. I don't.

I'm sure the others would agree with me as well. Even Ken-kun.

[lackofprotein]

[He figured as much, given how long ago it was since he died from her point of view. Aki or Mitsuru must have opened their mouths about it after everything went down - but the fact that she didn't treat him any differently from the usual was something he found strange.

Well, that was only partly true. After all, it was one of the reasons he felt this whole thing was necessary to begin with, because if Fuuka hadn't broken down into tears right in front of him that first day - he likely wouldn't of cared about striking up a conversation like this at all.

Still wish he hadn't, but there was nothing he could do to change that now.

At the sudden sounds of movement in his direction, Shinji turned, glancing over his shoulder and past the collar of his coat. Just enough where he'd be able to hide his expression and yet still see her. Or that had been the idea, until his eyes moved to trail along after her and noticed she wasn't running away, but moving to stand in front of him. An action that caused him to instinctively put more distance between the two, as he wasn't really sure what to expect when faced with something like this.

Aki would hit him, or at the very least get angry and yell about how stupid he was being and that he shouldn't say stuff like that. Something that was easy to deal with, because all he had to do was yell back and tell him to shut up - but Fuuka?

... Fuuka wasn't the type to get violent, or angry the same way him and Akihiko did. She was too kind, and he knew that if he treated her that way, the results would be a lot more different. Even now, having already lashed out at her made him feel the slightest bit guilty - but not enough to where he regretted doing it.

So when she starts off with 'not a bad person', his face darkens into quiet anger, but as she continues it... slowly reverts into something more neutral. The snow around him seems to thicken, and the chill continues to linger but it's less threatening and more to the usual underlying sadness that tends to accompany it.

Because if there was one thing he could not fault Fuuka for, it was being honest about how she felt.]

... You're right. You don't know a goddamn thing about me, and you obviously don't know a thing about Ken.

[Surprisingly, his tone was relatively calm. Only the slightest bit of annoyance seeping in, as he tilted his head back to get a clearer view of her from beneath his hat. But the words were just as quickly followed with a sigh, letting his hands drop down to his sides.]

But that's not the point. Acting like this is your problem to fix... tch. I came down here to lecture you, moron, not the other way around. [His eyes traveled back to hers, narrowing. Not with rage, but of complete seriousness.] I understand what you're trying to do, but save it. Doesn't matter anymore, but if I hear you blaming yourself again I'm not going to hold myself back next time.

You're gonna get a goddamn earful from me, whether you like it or not.

[It doesn't mean he was going to stop blaming himself, that wasn't something he would never be able to do for however long this place allowed him to stay here, but if he could find a way to give Fuuka less reasons to worry about him, than he was going to do what he could to make sure of that.]

[thekissoflife]

[She doesn't know Shinjiro well at all, that's true. Only from the little bit she'd interacted with him, the bits here and there she heard from Akihiko and Mitsuru. Ken, though— she knew better than Shinjiro thought. She might even know him better than Shinjiro. Ken wasn't rejuvenated by Shinjiro's death, he was devastated. He had so much anger built up within him, so much confusion and pain and no outlet for it. Shinjiro had been his outlet, and then he was gone, and while she never heard it in words, it had been clear to her, at least, that Shinjiro's death was ultimately not what he had wanted.

She doesn't shy away from his words, blunt and cold as they are. Doesn't shy away even from the chilling cold around him. She watches him, listens to his words, which are abrasive, but the intent behind them is gentle. He doesn't want her to worry. Not over him, not over his death.

All the more reason she feels like he shouldn't have had to die, really. He says she doesn't know him, but he continues to be kind to her, even if her actions aggravate him. It's like he wants to get mad at her, really, but can't because he realizes this is just the kind of person she is.]

Sorry, I suppose it did come off as a bit of a lecture.

[It doesn't matter anymore... She did suppose what was done was done. Even if it still filled her with sadness, even if she felt largely responsible... Somehow, Shinjiro's reprimanding makes her feel a little better. She didn't think he would be the kind to put blame on her in the first place, but it was nice to hear, all the same. And somehow, with him being here... she felt a little stronger than she did before.

So she nods.]

Okay. I'll try my best not to let it get to me as much.

[Shinjiro really had just been checking up on her, hadn't he? Because she'd cried the first day... Even if he was a very rough around the edges sort of person, he truly cared. And that fills Fuuka with warmth, warming the air around her, as well.]

Thank you, senpai.

[lackofprotein]

[Ken would honestly always be a complicated subject for him - the last thing he remembered, after all, was hearing how much the other hated him for what he did (something he'd never fault him for). Fuuka was lucky enough to get the privilege to see that other side of a young boy who regretted his actions - but Shinjiro was put into a position where that was something he'd likely never get to hear from the kid himself. It was partly why he'd almost considered telling her off when the boy's name had been brought into the conversation - but again, that wouldn't have solved anything. Knowing she hadn't been there to hear any part of that exchange, would have only ended with him getting more irritated and angry because as much as he hated to admit it - all those emotions he'd been keeping at bay about that particular situation were still fresh and he wouldn't have been able to keep a cool head no matter how hard he tried.

Yet he also understood that she was just trying to find a way to make him understand something that he adamantly refused to believe himself. Shinji didn't necessarily want to die, at least not as much as Fuuka was likely thinking, but with the way things had turned out, he was just glad that Ken wasn't the one who ended up taking his life in the end.

If anything, being able to give up his life protecting him, was something that he wouldn't take back no matter what Fuuka said.]

Good. [He paused, then, partly because the thank you felt unnecessary, but also for the simple fact that he felt relieved that he was able to do something. If he'd been able to put her mind at ease - even if it was a little, then this whole stupid conversation had been well worth the trouble. So he defaults to the usual sigh, the frost already melting around him as one hand moved to ruffle the top of her head.]

Now get to bed. I'll stick around to clean up this mess - and before you start to protest, no. I don't want your help.

[thekissoflife]

[Fuuka gives a little nod at his "good". Even if Shinjiro's arrival had contributed to her stress, she'd already had plenty of it before he arrived from various occurences... and now she felt much more relaxed than she had in a long, long while.

When he ruffles her hair she just pauses for a moment because what is happening!! She looks at Shinjiro, surprised and thrown off guard by the affectionate gesture. Belatedly, her hand raises up to her head, and she can't help but blush a bit.]

Ah— a-are you sure? I wouldn't mind helping. I'm not all that tired, really.

[It's less that Fuuka feels beholden to help and more that she would like to spend time with her senpai and get to know him better. This late at night might be a weird time to do it, but it was also the ideal time, because they were the only two around.

She won't have the chance to spend time with Shinjiro, to learn about him or share experiences with him when she returns home. She wants to capitalize on this while she still can.]

[lackofprotein]

[He opens his mouth to say something, his brows furrowing in obvious annoyance but he's just too tired to really argue at this point. Not that Shinji hadn't expected this, if anything he would have been surprised if she had gone to bed without saying a word, but it was his way of making sure she didn't want to spend any more time with him than she would have liked.]

I'm sure. [One hand moves to rest against the back of his head, the frost all but gone at this point, even as the cloud of snow still lingers. Softer falling now, and not as large in size - yet enough to show there was still some left over feelings that he couldn't quite shake off yet. He does eventually straighten, however, before he's turning to face away from her again and move back towards the table.] ... But if you want to go grab a broom for me, I won't stop ya.

Haven't been able to figure out where they keep that stuff yet.

[thekissoflife]

[Her shoulders droop a little at his answer, but she supposes that's okay. Shinjiro wasn't a particularly social person, after all. But at his words she brightens a little, and gives a nod.]

The closet's over this way.

[She walks over to it and opens the door, grabbing the broom and turning to hand it to her senpai.]

We'll probably need a mop as well, once we've gotten most of the pieces picked up.

[What— Fuuka, he said bring him a broom, not clean with him!!! But apparently this is what she is doing now. Give this girl an inch and she'll go a mile...]

[lackofprotein]

[Shinji stops in his movements only long enough to turn when she mentions the closet, watching her cross the room so he could store that information away for later. Part of him had a feeling this wasn't going to be the last time he'd do something like this, (sorry Eikichi), and wanted to be sure he'd be able to clean up after any emotional backlashes.

He will, however, move to take the broom once Fuuka brought it over, nodding lightly.]

Thanks. [Then he sighs.] Thought I told you I could handle it? What's with you, huh? Don't you ever take a break?

[thekissoflife]

[Fuuka retreats as soon as he takes the broom, getting out the mop and bucket as well. She moves to fill the bucket under a faucet inside the closet. Not too much... that should be enough.]

Oh, it's no trouble, really. Like I said, I'm not really tired.

[She comes back out, mop in one hand and bucket in the other, looking pretty bushy-tailed despite the late hour. Maybe she just felt re-energized after her talk with Shinjiro...

Speaking of this man, he has been perpetually snowing since he got here... Poor guy. It reminds Fuuka of when she came here, so distraught by their leader's passing that she couldnt' stop herself from freezing, rotting and wilting everything in sight.

And that reminds her...]

I should probably catch you up on everything that's happened...

[And then she pauses, and shakes her head, looking at Shinjiro.] Well, a lot happened since you left us. Maybe it'd be better to talk about it tomorrow, or else we could end up staying up quite late.

...but I'll tell you, if you don't want to wait.

[lackofprotein]

[He'd already started to sweep up some of the shattered remains of the cup - and just under the table in general, because who the hell left all those crumbs under there goddamnit - when Fuuka's words have him peering over his shoulder.

Not that the action was something he did for very long, as a few seconds later he turned back around to push everything into a neat pile on the floor. Her comment only getting a murmur of something that could have been annoyed acceptance. Stubborn as he was, Fuuka's desire to help would be hard to dissuade without a perfectly good reason, and as of right now he no longer had any.

But he was secretly glad for the company, if the sparkling snowflakes were any indication. At least until the topic of home gets brought up again, causing them to dim back down to how they were before.]

Hm? [Shinjiro peers down at her, temporarily leaning on the broom as he did so. To say he wasn't curious would have been a lie - as he was hoping their initial conversation would have led in that direction before things got a bit heated. After all, he couldn't help but want to make sure that everyone from SEES was still okay - and with Fuuka having such an apparent lead in terms of time and having the details, made it harder for him to resist turning her down.

Part of him knew it didn't matter, because there was nothing he'd be able to do or change when knowing his fate, but they were still kind of like his family in some weird way. Something he'd never say to anyone, but it wasn't hard to see that he genuinely cared about them all. So it's after that long silence of him mulling it over, that he gives the smallest nod to Fuuka.]

... May as well do it now and get it over with. Doubt we'll get many chances to talk like this without someone else around, you know?

[thekissoflife]

[The snowflakes are... sparkling?? Oh no, that's... actually kind of cute... but Fuuka is glad that her senpai apparently enjoys her company enough for his emotions to manifest like this.

She nods, absent-mindedly dipping the mop in the bucket before cleaning up the spill, now that all the shards were out of the way. It takes her a few moments to gather her thoughts. Precisely what had happened once Shinjiro had passed? So much... she recalls the battle with those two Shadows, the search for Shinjiro and Ken... She closes her eyes, takes a breath, and then begins recounting everything.

By the time she has finished with what she said, the cleaning supplies were back in the closet and Shinjiro and Fuuka were seated at the table once more, Fuuka looking solemnly into her cup.]

...but none of us remembered, to defeat Nyx... [She bites her lip, closing her eyes shut.] To defeat Nyx, it took all of your life. But he... he stayed alive, for us. He stayed alive, right up until graduation day. We all remembered, and we ran to greet him...

[Fuuka had been helped with her grief regarding this issue, but it still makes her eyes sting to recount it in such detail. She supposed it always would.]

But as we got to the dorm, I could barely feel his presence. And when we got up there, h-he was with Aigis, and...

[She draws a deep breath, bowing her head and shaking it soundlessly. Everyone had been so excited, so happy to remember and ready to celebrate, and then...]

1/3

[lackofprotein]

[It... it was a lot to process.

He'd been listening quietly, letting her explain as much as she could about the events that followed as he went about cleaning. The hanged man's shadow was something he expected, at least. That had been SEES entire point for existing, so there was a nod when the topic was brought up - and a small sense of pride at their accomplishments, but he couldn't stop that crackle of electricity across his shoulders when hearing about Strega's involvements.

He knew of Chidori, and Junpei's attraction for her - as ridiculous as it was at the time. Having dealings with Strega himself for those few years made it where he didn't have much of an interest in wanting to get to know any of them on a personal level, because he knew no good would come out of it.

... But, out of the three, she was the one he found the least grating on his nerves. Always quiet, and never speaking unless spoken to - the fact that Iori was able to break through that barrier with that idiotic way he did things, only caused a tiny, sad smile from underneath his coat when hearing the results.

Only for it to break the very second Ikutsuki's betrayal was brought up, turning in her direction with such a look of shock and anger, that caused the tiny cloud of snow to escalate back into that darker, electrical storm of smoldering rage as she continued.

He wanted to ask further questions - wanted to understand why, but it hit him to the point of speechlessness. Hearing that their efforts to stop the Dark Hour had only been some dumb ploy to... what? Recreate the world in his image?]

2/3

[lackofprotein]

What a fucking dumbass! [The comment is seething, and hearing about Mitsuru's dad only made the cloud behind him flair with more bolts of lightning, practically shoving the broom in the closet with a growl. After Fuuka had put her supplies away first, mind, since he wouldn't have made a point to slam the door if she was anywhere near him - but it was the only way he could get rid of the frustration.

Mitsuru losing her father hit him especially hard. Even if he wasn't as close to her as he was with Akihiko, he knew vaguely just how much she respected her father - and her losing him to Ikutsuki of all people - after she'd done so much to try and stop Tartarus and the Dark Hour.

Stop it. It doesn't matter.

Shinji bit down, clenching his teeth long enough to calm himself. No matter how angry or fed up or irritated he was about this whole situation, what's done is done. He was long gone, and just as useless as he'd always been.

But it still hurt, because he hadn't expected any of this to be the results of all their efforts. He expected the shadows and dark hour to be done and over with. That things would be fine, and they'd live on normally without having to worry about it anymore - not whatever the fuck all this was.]

3/3

[lackofprotein]

[Eventually, though, when Fuuka moved to sit down, Shinji flopped down across from her. His face darkening considerably as she continued, and that lightning behind him died down to a small rumbling.

He was only partly paying attention, in terms of Ryoji - something about Nyx. Parts of him in leader, a choice between living with memories or killing Ryoji to have an easy death. More Persona bullshit that he couldn't quite understand because, as much as Fuuka did her best to explain, there was still a lot of questions.

Questions he didn't truthfully want answers to, because he knew it wasn't worth asking. But he could tell, as much as he was personally finding it difficult and hard to understand - Fuuka was the one that had to live through it all.

Something that settled in his mind, making his expression shift into one of solemn acceptance, as he finally let his eyes drift from where'd they been fixated on the table. Frowning, when Fuuka finally revealed what their leader had to do - and what he had to give up, in exchange for the rest of them to continue living peacefully.

It was fitting, in a way. The type of person he was, and though there was an obvious flicker of saddness at the news, Shinji couldn't help but feel a wave of respect that finally caused the cloud to mellow into quiet snowfall again.]

I'm sorry, Yamagishi. I didn't realize how much - I wish I had asked sooner, but after what happened I couldn't - [He stops, when noticing he was just kind of speaking in broken thoughts, and just gives a sigh. His hand already moving to rest against his forehead while he tried to process any of that.]

... Tch. What a fucking mess.

[thekissoflife]

[When the explanation finally comes to an end, Fuuka lets it hang for awhile, closing her eyes as she remembers their leader. Finally, she opens them, and lifts her head.]

...but it's all gone now. The Dark Hour, the Shadows, Nyx... Everything's back to normal.

...well, we still seem to have our Personas. But now that everything's as it should be, there's no reason for us to use them anymore. Not back at home, at least.

[It was a hard fought victory, with devastating losses along the way. But they still won, and Fuuka thinks that's important to remember. All the people who'd lost their lives along the way died protecting someone. Their losses were not in vain.

She smiles a little though as an afterthought, and shakes her head.]

Anyway, don't worry about it. Arriving on Empatheias is very jarring. It was for me... I imagine it must be even moreso for you. [Shinjiro had known he was going to die, had accepted it and awaited it. And then he was abruptly alive.] So... any sooner would have been too much, I think. [With such a thing as everything that had happened after his death, combined with suddenly being alive and in a completely new world, how would have Shinjiro possibly been able to focus on either? Now things had settled, and at least begun feeling normal.]

...I was taken from a few weeks after that. When I came to Empatheias, his death... was still very fresh and raw. And my emotions ran rampant... [She's not sure what line of thought caused her to continue on like this, about her personally, but now that she's started she's commited.] I couldn't control the way they manifested in the world. Someone with an unusual power was able to help me, though.

[Now she really doesn't know where she was going with that and falls silent, cheeks tinged pink a bit in embarrassment for telling Shinjiro such aimless things.]

[lackofprotein]

[His face is briefly hidden, cradled by the hand concealing his expression in shadow as his elbow rested on the table. Quietly listening, or perhaps trying to reflect and sort out everything that Fuuka had told him - honestly it was hard to tell, at this point.

Part of him still couldn't believe that so much had happened after everything with Ken, he figured maybe something might have gone wrong, as he knew about Strega and their determination to stop SEES but... the literal apocalypse? That was so dumb even he couldn't help but see it as a cruel joke - but no, Fuuka would never do that to anyone.

Her words had been sincere, as they always were, throughout the whole conversation - but after hearing everything and the results of leader's self-sacrifice, it was like a weight had been lifted off his mind. His worries about back home, every time he saw Fuuka, or the general questions on whether or not the rest of them had been able to take down Strega without any more causalities, was finally answered.

And for once, Shinjiro looked more relaxed than he had in a very long time.]

I'm... glad. [It's short, and quiet, but it's a comment that has so much relief lingering onto it, that the snow around him morphed into tiny spheres of light, as he finally moved to sit up properly.] Sounds like you all got a lot stronger when I wasn't looking... tch, guess I'll have to try and catch up while I'm here.

[A pause, then, as his expression became a little more serious.]

I don't know if it'll mean much coming from me, but... I'm proud of you all. Really. You did well, Yamagishi.

[Then he smiled, one that was very faint, but as guarded as he was about showing his emotions - he wanted to make sure Fuuka knew that much. He may not have been able to be there for them, or fight with them in those last battles (something that was more frustrating than regretful), but knowing that they all survived - leader excluded - made it where he couldn't help but be a little happy about their accomplishments.

And perhaps, one day he might be able to run into their leader and express his gratitude. That he was able to keep the other's safe. If not here, then... well, he'll cross that bridge when he came to it. For now, he'll push those thoughts to the back of his mind and finally take a sip of the tea that had seemed to warm to his touch. A stark contrast to the frost, for once, as he gave a small nod when it came to Empatheias.]

I'll deal. May as well make the most of the extra time I have, you know? Makes it a little easier, knowing that you guys won't be getting into so much trouble anymore. [Didn't mean he wouldn't keep an eye on them if any showed up while he was here, but that was to be expected.] But if you ever have anythin' else troubling you, don't be afraid to pull me aside and tell me. Got it?

Hell, and if you can't tell me, find someone you can. [Then, muttered after taking a sip from his tea.] Probably be better at helpin', anyway.

[thekissoflife]

[There's something that shifts in Shinjiro's demeanor when he says those two words, something that makes him seem gentler, and it's not just the snow turning into light. And goodness, his emotions really are on display... But his gentle words ease Fuuka, and she relaxes.

Right up until he says he's proud of her. She startles, eyes wide and a blush rising up to her cheeks. She hadn't expected it at all, and for him to make it so personal, too—!

She ducks her head, tucking her hair behind her ear.] U-um— thank you.

[Her response is a bit flustered, more automatic than anything, but then, Fuuka has never been good at receiving praise. When Shinjiro continues talking, she looks up and fights down the blush... she'll have to give his praise more proper consideration later.

And he's offering to help her, too. That helps that blush drain away, and she relaxes again, smiling warmly in response.]

Okay, senpai. I will. Thank you.

[lackofprotein]

Glad to hear it. [It's all that he has left to say on the matter, and even if he did have more to add, the sight of lights from the corner of his vision was enough of a distraction to stop him. When he realizes it's coming from him, that brief look of confusion was just as quickly replaced with a glare. Of course there would be lights - how could he have forgotten?] Dammit, this stupid crap again.

[Shinji will close his eyes, then, to concentrate... before eventually, after some effort, the spheres would disappear and revert the room back to it's usual brightness.]

Anyway, it's late and I've taken enough of your time. So, unless there's anything else you wanted to talk about - I'm pretty beat.

[Moving to awkwardly rub the side of his neck, before he's giving a quick look towards the Spa's exit again. Wasn't like he'd be able to sleep now, after everything they talked about, but he didn't really want to admit that to Fuuka either. It's just that part of him really needed the fresh air, and spa or not, a walk would probably do him some good.]

[thekissoflife]

[She watches his reactions, giving a small, sympathetic smile.]

Don't worry, it gets easier to control over time.

[She waits patiently as Shinji dispels the lights, then nods at his words. It was getting quite late now, and she'd likely be tired tomorrow, but that was alright. She felt like she would sleep easier tonight than she has been for the past few days.]

I'm sleepy as well. [She rises from the table and nods to Shinjiro.] Good night, Aragaki-senpai. I'll see you tomorrow.

[With that, she turns and makes her way upstairs to her room, feeling relaxed in a way she hasn't in quite awhile.]